Politics – The King Van Way

Apparently, unbeknownst to some scurrilous knaves and scoundrels intruding on the Kingdom of Van, there are no ‘elections’ in my Kingdom… It is by right and might that rule over Vandom is enforced. Of course, the inhabitants of this Kingdom need little or want of much due to the graciousness of his highness, the King. Food is shared, health care covered, unemployment nonexistent, and strife and turmoil banished.

Yet the knaves of other kingdoms feign the need for all to ‘vote’ at some self-effacing quest to prove bravery, chivalry, and fortitude by mere word alone. The innumerable banners of ‘politicism’ are splayed across the Kingdom with little (and ill) regard for how futile their quest is, no matter the cost of gold or time – theirs or mine!

King Van’s rise in servitude over all of the Kingdom came not at promises of what quests could be sought, or dragons that could be slain, or pillages that could be wrought upon neighboring kingdoms… I am what I am by what I accomplish… with those accomplishments came the recognition, and with the recognition came the power.

Don’t tell me what you will do, you who are questing for power! Show me, and earn the honor of those you seek to support you. Villainous slander against foe wins not the hearts of men, it is smiting foes for villager’s sake and safety that will gain more in your quest than even you could realize. Tax not what you wouldn’t proffer yourself.

The Kingdom of Van is an honor and trust rule… soft-spoken deeds completed ensure continued reign over this Kingdom by this King.

Come nigh the ‘election’ moon, worry thee not about King’s participation. No knave or scoundrel proffering instant change over the land shall earn my favour. Quests successfully accomplished, deeds done helping villagers and peasants across the kingdom earn my recognition and an invite to my roundtable.

Sheer pandemonium awaits those others… with maybe a guillotining or two to boot…

So let it be written, so let it be done!

Castle’Van’ia, Part Deux (Kingdom of Van-Reloaded)

The Sands of Van

Hear Ye, Hear Ye!

King Van, in his never-ending wisdom, doth hereby proclaim and declare successful Coronation, with elevation of status of eldest Prince Van to King-ship, and with Official Recognition of  “King Van(2)” and “Queen Van(2)”!

 Published this day by Ye Olde Castle Scribe at King’s behest.

 

Yes, the Gala event has concluded, and -as King Van- I can honestly say that it was one of the proudest moment in this King’s reign. The ceremony, the mirth and merriment which followed, and the bonding of the loyal subjects of the kingdom during the whole event was without equal. It was, without question, also one of the best times known to date for this King.

Youngest Prince Van, in his proclamation toast at festivities following the ceremony, was at his best. His delivery of memoirs of ages past without succumbing to emotions was beyond belief for this King. (This coming from a King that blubbered incessantly while welcoming subjects to the festivities!)

Be that as it may, the King has regained composure, and now looks back fondly at all the events of this past weekend with great pride, and doth hereby offer a few choice observations for both the Prince Vans, in honorary Prince Russell-T infamous “bullet-point” style…

• A King’s home is his TOOL BENCH! (and the assorted tools there-upon it)
• No matter how hard you try, when emotions hit, you WILL sob like a ‘gurlee-man’
• Kegs of ale/goblets of fermented grape do not mix! (hard lesson learned there!)
• Prince Flo (yes, rightly earned title) be-speaks honestly when sotted
• Prince Vanlandw can actually shake a mean bootie!
• Everyone’s kingdom twirls round-e-round at mass consumption of ale
• BBQ’d ANYTHING tastes of sheer deliciousness at receptions
• There is NO cure for a hangover, no matter what Wizards may say
• Queen Van(1) will forever be a ‘hottie’ to the King!!!

So let it be written, so let it be done!      (So decreed by King Van)

The (R)Evolution of Van

Yeah, it’s been a while since last post, and eldest Prince Van hath reminded me to ‘pick it up’… hence this…

Summer is just fleeting by… Where does it go??? Don’t know… all I do know is that the King ages way too fast, and I have to make sure that the Princes of Van are competent to follow in the King’s footsteps… well, not exactly… but they must be able to assume the throne of their own kingdom…

Tracking the Princes of Van’s maturing over this past year, I find a pride not known to this King… both Princes have finally made their mark in their lives, drawn the line in the sand, so to speak…

Eldest Prince is now happily working his way up through the ranks of system administrator land, and planning his own Royal Wedding…. King is extremely proud of the kind of Prince he has evolved into, and the Queen he has chosen… Much merriment to be had shortly at the Gala coming up!

Youngest Prince Van is now reaping the rewards of his quest for full-time employment… and now is making his mark at Fox-17 as morning news associate producer… Youngest Prince has also earned much pride from the King, and will undoubtedly proceed to change the face of morning news, especially if he ever gets rewarded the chance to be on the ‘live’ side of the camera… King Van wishes him best of luck on that quest!

I know this is short, but being King, I have other responsibilities to tend to, so will leave this as it is, with more to be added at some time in the near future…

Till then, be it known that King Van bestows his approval of the (r)evolution of the Princes… and smiles thusly upon their endeavors and accomplishments to date…  8  )

After all… they ARE Vans!

So let it be written, so let it be done!

In Dependant’s Day Celebration – the Van Way…!

Being King of Van, it is my duty to provide happiness and prosperity to the loyal subjects of my Kingdom… particularly to the Knights of Van… That being said, events of the past few days merit a review of the progress in the quest for Van-Happiness…

• Family of Van joins together for weekend of merriment at the castle
• During adjoinment procedure, youngest Prince Van’s chariot decides to throw some fireworks display of its own… sheer ‘Chariot of Fire’….

• As any good King would do, Immediate Chariot replacement quest was declared
• Youngest Prince Van obtains first new chariot with aid of King… and assisted by eldest Prince Van and Honorary Van – Prince Flo… Congrats vanbergs!
• Chariot dealers are WPE, and youngest Prince Van did admirable job in his quest! (King Van = Proud King!)
• Both Prince Vans bestow use of electronic games of mirth upon King and Queen Van
• Queen Van becomes smitten with use of said game… g.g. Queen Van!
• Queen Van smites King Van at said game of mirth and merriment…
• ‘Guitar Hero’ for PS2 hereby proclaimed Castle pass-time of leisure…
• King Van can fit 4 lbs of root tuber/wild mushroom mixture, and 6 lbs of smitten hunks of pork rib on Ye Old Firepit…
• King, Queen, and Prince Vans, as well as Castle visitors (Prince Flo) can pillage and plunder above-mentioned feast in less time than it takes to prepare said feast.
• King Van is extremely fond of ‘Comp Coverage’ for Chariot of Fire… 8 )

So let it be written…. So let it be done!!!

An Ode to The True Father of VanHood

No, I am not an imposter,

I am the King of Vans!

vanberge and vanbergs can attest to the fact,

and are two of my loyalest fans.

But I had been raised to this throne

but one of 12 siblings there were

and the person who shaped the way I was to be

was the person this king calls 'Father'.

You taught us all how to work and to act

and with firm hand did rule our domain

and out of the gruff personality you bore

kind gentle wizard became.

The source of all knowledge

for lessons we learned

and salve for wounds we received

till when we ruled on our own accord

twas then when we finally believed!

Yes we may have taken great strides

to be where we are today,

but without your guide and firm hand on the reign

we might have fallen astray.

So here is to you, great Father of Van

sons and daughters now know it is true

that the way you were is the way we should be

and how lucky we are to have you!

Happy Father's Day, my King!

A Van Tribute to Mothers

Sheesh… mother's day already… sure sign that summer is around the corner, and the start of all the yard 'gussy-ing' up that comes with it… tilling flower beds, raking, thatching, trimming, edging, fertilizing, mowing, and then… planting the flower beds.

The money tied up in yard maintenance is astounding… it has to be a gazillion dollar a year business… I know, cuz that is what I have spent so far… and for what?

A manicured, picture-perfect landscape, enviable by all who drive by.

NOT!

It is our little 'slice' of beauty, but not for anyone else to admire… it is for us. As King of Van, I have little desire to cater to the masses. I cater to me… I can… I do…

Why? It is a tribute… Someone taught me how, and gave me the inspiration, the knowledge, and the will to be able to do it… Not just my mother, though… it was a double-edged bolt of thunder and fire and brimstone and love, all rolled into one vast impressive experience called my 'childhood'… Both father and mother were sources of all this enlightenment, and because of them, I get to choose what to do, when to do it, and whom to do it with… part of being 'A Van'.

So, to all those parents out there, both father and mother… hats off to you… you DO make a difference, and yes, kids do learn… I am part of the proof of that… and I don't think I turned out any worse for the wear…

King Van has spoken… and the word is "Parents Rule!"