The Kingdom of Van’s “Best Of…”

With friends and family all doing the “best of” theme recently, the King figures it’s time to incorporate his own compiled list of greatest things, events, movies, games, people, inventions, and what-not…

With that in mind, here is the Kingdom of Van’s list of worthwhile things that have affected the life of this King, in no particular order of any sort…. *Note: This list will span several days worth of editing, so please be patient!!!

1. kathyvb – THE single most important thing that has ever happened to this King. Some time long ago, sitting on the front steps of a friend’s house reading comic books, she walked into my realm, and from that first glimpse of her (not to mention how she looked in her majorette outfit), the King was smitten…

2. vanberge4 – The second most important event… the birth of King Van 2. Pride? Oh Yeah!

3. vanbergs – The third most important event… both 2 and 3 are really equal, but timing set the order listed here… both sons are unique in their own ways, and do a King so much pride for their own marks they are making in the Kingdom of Van.   g.g., spawn of King!

4. The Super Chef sandwich from Burger Chef (long gone)… I literally proposed to kathyvb over it.

5. “All-Inclusive Resorts” – Last year, King and Queen Van attended one of these in Jamaica… Montego Bay was the absolute best! Letting yourself be pampered without having to worry about anything else but showing up is definitely in the “Best of…” category. This year, it is going to be the Mexican Riviera, at a little more posh all-inclusive resort… Lot’s of pictures to be taken, and several brands of Tequila to be tested at the King’s behest, for sure!!! 8  )

6. Atari 2600 Game Console – Yeah, before the X-box 360, the Wii, the PS-3, and today’s hi-perf lap-tops and desktop PC’s, there was this fairly inexpensive ‘toy’ to spend countless hours of enjoyment with. Between the Atari and Commodore wars, many felt that Atari was doomed. The King is happy to decree that Atari is still alive and kicking Royal Kingdom of Van Ass with titles like “NeverWinter Nights” and “Magic: The Gathering”. Most notably standing out in the King’s memory is the ‘paddle-controlled’ game of “KaBoom”, and WHO in the Kingdom of Van could ever forget “Space Invaders”??? Definitely “Best Of…” material.

7. While pondering the subject of games for the above, one title also clearly jumped to the top of the gaming list – “Guitar Hero”… Never has the Kingdom been so enthralled with a video game, bar none. While GH1 was, in this humble King’s opinion, the best of the two (only because there were more of this King’s genre of music), GH2 embodies the full potential of addictive gaming. Miss one note at any level, and you immediately want to behead the creator, even while pushing the “retry” button so you can do it all over again, and get it right. Sheer Van-demonium… hence part of the “Best Of…”

In Competence

I know it has been quite a while since last post… so King Van doth ‘pick it up’ now, before being reminded to do so by his loyal subjects and royal family of van members… First off, I want to comment on the recent blogs of vanberge4, vanbergs, vanlandw, and honorary prince van Flo.

“G.G.” – 15 minutes of fame all around…!!!

Now, to the vile deeds causing the inception of this post…

King Van was given the job of “Independent Software Assessor” at work last year, and as part of my duties, I have to review the safety of software code, results of code reviews and testing, and work with the contracted software consultants brought in at obscene pricing in peices of gold. Earlier I posted about how inept some of these consultants have been, and how frustrating it is having to correct errors in the way they do their jobs.

The latest round of testing completed this week merely solidified this King’s opinion. A negative report regarding code review of some modules prompted the review of these modules personally, to see why code review wasn’t detecting the ’seeded errors’ induced by the consultants. Last time the King had to do this, I found that 30% of the supposed errors seeded into the code DID NOT EXIST. I don’t know if they forgot to save the files after seeding, or if I was given the wrong seeded code. Nonetheless, this second round was supposed to conducted with enough controls in place to insure that this problem wouldn’t happen again.

This week’s review started with a report that had incorrect calculations by the consultants, and when the King asked for the seeded code files for review, I was given the wrong files, ones that were not original, yet ones that were different than the actual seeded versions that were reviewed. When I started reviewing the files, I could not verify the existence of ANY of the ‘reported’ seeded errors. I had to go back to the consultants, after wasting 2 hours looking at wrong files, and ask if they were sure they gave me the correct ones. Shortly afterwards, I got a copy of a different set of files, this time the ‘correct’ seeded code files… Hmmmm… sounds like it is out of control again.

Ended up spending another 8 hours reviewing the files, and found that in each of them, some of the reported seeded errors were not there for the reviewers to discover.  5% of them, to be exact.

Consultants beware… You won’t survive long in the Kingdom of Van by providing incompetent analysis and services. Earn the gold you yearn for and get paid - by providing full measure of professionalism and process control.

This King tires of wasted time correcting the blunders of highly paid ‘professionals’…

BRB